Thursday. long

Mrs. Fear,

Your lies that are hidden behind those soft brown eyes lurk in the dark and focus on the tears from your children eyes. The words you said tore them down left them broken and unwanted vacant inside. The swift movement of your hand scarred their face broke their bones but that damage was small compared to the shattered heart your left in their ribcage. Your sweet smile, your innocent face graced the neighbors with with the daily pace but inside, insde that smile, that face was a nightmare and your true disgrace.
I remember when you caressed my hand, kissed my cheek, told me of your love and held me in your warm embrace the scent of lilies on your skin filled my lungs with love from within. Safety shattered, hatred grew when you were the mother that no one else knew. Why i ask, why i beg, why did you take my mother away? I begged, i tried, i tore down everything that i held close inside. I forgot my soul, i betrade my hope, i lied and stole and hated the world all because you told me so. You said i was weak, you said i dont belong, you said i was worthless and my life wasnt here for long.  The fear you gave i traded away and became what it was you gave me to be. Everyday i walked in hate, behind my eyes i hid those very same lies.
The day you took your last breath i felt nothing at all, another life gone, another life lost, a soul as blacken as hate itself. I didnt say good bye, i didnt cry but that night i return and pissed on your grave to properly wash you away.
Today i love more then you ever could of, i threw away your words i forgave the scars you left. i'm better then what u gave me to be, i am beyond the trash that i used to be. But still i ask why? still i beg why? why did you take my mother away? Why did you betrade the children who's lives they gave just to see the once kind smile on your face. Where was the mother i had that loved, did you think that trading her away was better? Did that bat fill the black when things ran red? Did you think you were stronger when you tied us and toldus not to make a peep? Did you find peace when you touched my cheek bruising it until i fell my body broken and weak? Strange to think i miss you still the woman you used to be before you fell draggin our innocents in to your hell.

miss you,
unwhole but healed