Friday ...

Dear you,

If it is fake that you say I am I can not convince you that way was not my plan. I do not sit back with a needle and thread debated which string to sew and which to pull. You say I doubt you and I keep you out but what you don’t see is that this is not my reality. I come to you on my knees not for sympathy but because the reality of leaving is now heavily barring on me. I come to you with bliss on my mind because the affection bliss gives I wish to share with not just any one. You say my emotions tag team ripping you at the seam making you brittle but I don’t understand how you can see me this shallow…when all I wanted to do is share my life with you. I do not doubt what it is you feel I do not doubt the real. I breath out in a sigh because last night, last night I went to bed finally with a small piece of mind. I talked to my friend and she held my hand, she silently told me the wounds would mend. Then I wake and I am lost because at sometime last night I was wrong? Some where I failed yet again, some where my footing slid and I find myself looking up out of a hole, naked and alone. I’ve opened myself completely not just parts but every bit of me I leave nothing left hiding. And yet I am fake and all I do is take? If all I do to you is bring a weight then why do you not leave me? Love can be forgotten people do it all the time they walk away with a tear in their eye and sorrow in their heart but after a while a friend that is worth while fills that whole in their heart. I don’t know where I had my fall but I am sure on my knees pathetic I belong. I can not convince you of something that I thought was real if all you felt was a fake appeal.

lost,
Me